- You may not “bounce back”. You may never fit in your pre-pregnancy jeans again or wear the same size shoe – and that’s ok. Your body is literally creating and housing another human being, some things are going to change. Society, and social media in particular, have fed us this idea that it’s perfectly normal for women to just bounce back a few months after having a baby…it’s not. That’s AMAZING if you do but it’s also AMAZING if you don’t. You aren’t doing something wrong, you’re just in a different stage of life now and your body reflects that.
- Referring back to #1…it’s ok to mourn your pre-baby body. No one expects you to have a baby and just magically be ok with all of the changes that come with it. It’s also ok to miss going out with your friends, to miss sleeping in and having your weekends free, and it’s more than ok to miss your sense of self. So many things feel “taken away” from you when you become a parent and you’re not selfish for acknowledging that, nor does it mean you don’t absolutely love being a mother. The second you become a mother, your life is changed forever. It’s ok to not be ok with all of those changes.
- Take the help. Your MIL wants to bring you dinner? Let her. Your mom offered to do some laundry? By all means. Don’t feel guilty about taking people up on their offers – they want to help you! Moms often feel like they have to do it all themselves and we need to remember that they say, “it takes a village” for a reason. Don’t wear yourself unnecessarily, especially because the offers will stop eventually.
- Breastfeeding shouldn’t affect your mental health. So many women feel pressured to continue breastfeeding, even if that means their mental health has to suffer. I struggled with so many aspects of it: latching, low supply, permanently cracked skin, pain while pumping…I hated every single second of it. I cried every time it was time for a feed and eventually, my husband stepped in and told me it was time to quit. We had tried, really tried – I met with a lactation consultant several times a week, we asked mom friends for advice, I talked to my OB…it didn’t matter. My body just wasn’t cut out for it and my children weren’t gaining the weight they needed to. The guilt I felt was crushing. I felt like a failure because I couldn’t do this thing that every other mom could do. But that’s the thing – a lot of women have these same issues. A lot of women just simply dislike breastfeeding. Some mother’s milk never comes in. Issues with breastfeeding, and the corresponding mental health issues that come with it, are SO COMMON. So if it’s not working out for you – quit. Don’t ever feel bad about taking care of YOU. You can’t be the mother your baby needs if your needs aren’t met.
5. You’re doing a great job.
