It’s 7:30 p.m. – my toddler is asleep & I’m finally “off-duty” for the night. Time to sit down, relax and have some “me time”.
Except, that never happens.
Before I can relax I need to: clean up dinner, vacuum the floors, put away toys, fill the sippy cups for the next day, start the dishwasher, set up the coffee maker, feed the cat, scoop the litter box and grab the mail. Now it’s 8:30 p.m. – there’s still time to relax before I head to bed, right?
But wait…did I start a load of laundry earlier? That needs to be folded and put away. Is the diaper pail full? That has to get emptied. Dang, the trash can is full too? Ok, let me take that out. Did I enter those receipts into Quicken after I got home yesterday? Better do that now so I can pay the bill tomorrow. I need to shower, but that can wait until the morning. Oh, no it can’t – we have a call with the speech therapist in the morning. I could shower after I suppose. Nope, that won’t work – I have a grocery pick-up scheduled for afterwards. Ok, better hop in now.
Ok, the house is tidied and I’m all ready for the day tomorrow. It’s just past 10 p.m. & I’m exhausted. I’m going to climb in bed and scroll through my phone for a bit before I go to sleep.
Shoot, I forgot I used the last of the paper towels when I was wiping off the counters – let me add that to the shopping list real quick. And while I’m thinking about it, do we need air filters? I think we used the last one…better check. Oh no – I forgot to get gas earlier! Let me go write myself a note real quick. And didn’t Steve say he needed an oil change? I should text him a reminder.
By the time I finally shut my phone off and go to sleep, I’m exhausted – both physically and mentally – but mostly mentally.
In a mother’s brain, there’s always an ongoing list of things we need to do, groceries we need to buy, calls we need to make…and then there’s the worrying. We play the day back and wonder if we did enough. Could I have done more around the house today? Did my child get enough attention? Are they happy?
Sometimes the weight of being a mother can be so overwhelming that I feel like I’m drowning & I have to remind myself that God made women the child-bearers for a reason. Not only can our bodies create, carry & nourish life – our brains can operate at “full speed” day after day to keep our entire households running smoothly.
A mother’s brain never stops, but that’s because it’s fueled with love, and that is a beautiful thing.
