We all know about PPD (Postpartum Depression) and we all know how much it sucks. Your body has just created this amazing little creature and BAM – depression hits. You feel like you’re doing everything wrong, you’re overwhelmed and anxious, you feel disconnected from your baby, and so on. The stigma surrounding PPD is slowly changing thanks to so many brave mamas that are sharing their experiences and providers that are now acknowledging that this is something they need to be addressing and screening for.
Personally, I was not diagnosed with PPD, nor do I think I experienced it, but I did have a bad case of the “baby blues”. Those first 3 weeks were the worst for me. I felt like everything I did was wrong, my husband wasn’t helping enough & my son loved him more than me. I remember driving to one of my son’s doctor appointments and telling my husband something along the lines of: “I don’t think I have Postpartum Depression, but I have a little depression”. It was so important to me that I voice my feelings and be honest with him because I was well aware of the dangers of staying silent. Several women close to me dealt with PPD, some years after their baby was born, and I was terrified of it.
If you find yourself feeling down and think you may be experiencing PPD or a case of the “baby blues”, please know this: it’s normal and you’re doing a great job. Your body just experienced trauma (yes, birth in all forms is trauma) and your hormones are ALL OVER THE PLACE. Breathe, give yourself a pat on the back and then reach out to your support system. Be honest with your partner, parents, friends and most importantly – your doctor. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and you do not have to go through it alone.
Ok, let’s talk about something I did (and still do) experience: mom guilt. I’m a stay-at-home mom, which means I’m with my child literally every second of every day. In addition to taking care of my son, I’m maintaining the household: laundry, cleaning, shopping, running errands, etc. I have very little “me” time and when I do finally get some time to myself, what do I do? Feel guilty about it. My head is filled with thoughts of things I should be doing instead of taking care of myself or worse – thoughts about my husband resenting me for it. He worked all day, should I really be asking him to take this feeding? Will he think I’m lazy if I go get my nails done this weekend?
Ladies – say it with me, WE DESERVE A BREAK. I don’t care if you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, you need to make time for yourself. Go get your nails done, see a movie, have lunch with a friend – whatever it is, leave the baby with your partner or a sitter and GO. You’ll be a better mom for it – I promise.
